Two truths: (1) Since time immemorial, people have been decrying the death of courtesy. “What once were vices are manners now,” wrote Seneca two thousand years ago, and I’m betting some Egyptologist can point me to the equivalent in hieroglyphics. (2) Just because a kvetch has been repeated in the past, that doesn’t make it …
We’ve been having those freezing summer mornings in the Bay Area. The wind rattled my windows all night long, and right now, the sky is the color of dirty snow. The leaves are shivering. Me too. The physical sensation is reminiscent of fear and of love, which have been much on my mind. Summer is …
One of the many reasons I hope I am granted long life is that I think it is going to take me quite a while to finish rewiring my brain. For instance, if you are like me, a cache in your mind holds a photo album crammed with snapshots of decisive moments from your personal …
Fireworks last night in Richmond, which sponsors a convivial gathering every July third. There’s a great view of the display from the lawn across from my apartment. A cover-band version of “Street Fighting Man” wafted through the window, then an announcer’s voice saying, “Fireworks in fifteen minutes.” “Why July third?” someone asked as we found …
When packing for online dating world, be sure to bring along plenty of compassion. Having chronicled my adventures in online dating in this blog series, I’ve become an object of curiosity to certain readers. They are waiting for my positive orientation toward this curious enterprise to cool off. “Are you still enjoying it?” they ask, …
I’ve been taking a break from online dating. I’m not sure how long it will last, probably another month or so (or maybe forever, if you introduce me to Mr. Right). Work is especially engrossing and demanding now, and I want to focus. But not without a certain ambivalence. The writer’s life tends to solitude, …
Today’s my birthday. I share it this year with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., a calendrical accident that confers the spiritual equivalent of a contact high. But for me, a birthday is always an occasion. Every year has a distinct character and completeness that begs to be understood: I want to hang it on the …
It’s been a busy time for me in online dating world: much fun, new friends, maximizing my exposure to serendipity on the road to true love. I keep being surprised at how much this process teaches me about myself. For instance, I just added another paragraph to the list of qualities I am seeking in …
I’m returning to this site after nearly a half-year off for a sweet relationship that morphed into what we both hope will be a lasting friendship. My prior online dating experience was much fun and very interesting, and I’m hoping this will be too. I’m touched by the way we keep showing up, keep desiring, …
Judging by the prevalence of advice books on the best-seller lists, a great many of us believe there’s a formula for success in almost every endeavor, and that we can learn it from life’s winners—sports heroes, self-made billionaires, box-office stars, famous lovers. In one way, it makes sense: since they’ve done it (whatever it may …