I have a dear friend who is struggling with the residue of a nightmare childhood. When one has been betrayed by those closest, those who should have been the keepers of trust and love, it is easy to fall into a default setting of fear and defense. Ordinary interactions become minefields, as the person adopts …
This is the text of a talk I gave on September 12th, the first night of Rosh HaShanah, the Jewish New Year, at the Aquarian Minyan in Berkeley. When Rabbi Diane Elliot asked me to speak on the Minyan’s High Holy Days theme of love and community, I felt so challenged I knew I had …
We’re entering that time of the Jewish new year, the High Holy Days, when each person makes a cheshbon hanefesh—a “soul inventory”—in preparation for a new cycle of the calendar. Sometimes I feel that people are influenced by this period of reflection even if they aren’t aware of it. For instance, this fall, like the …
This coming Sunday there will be a huge “Summer of Love” 40th anniversary concert in Golden Gate Park, featuring everybody from Moby Grape to Jesse Colin Young (“C’mon people, now smile on your brother, everybody get together, try to love one another right now”). I was there for the first summer of love, although I …
This has been a week of collecting horror stories of behavior by people who seem to utterly lack a moral compass. As a friend of mine said, “Sometimes the world offends me.” But is it true? Are some people entirely lacking, without moral conscience in the way that someone might be born without wisdom teeth, …
A week or so ago, I was stuck behind a long line of cars and trucks, waiting to merge onto the freeway. We sat there for quite awhile, feeling the bounce and buzz of traffic in the opposite lane speeding by. The driver in front of me stuck his head out the window of his …
I’m in the midst of a long-term research project on the topic of love. It started months ago, when my use of the word in the context of culture and politics evoked discomfort on the part of some academic and philanthropic readers. In the contexts where these questions arose, the word “love” isn’t much used, …
I have a well-established habit of greeting passers-by. When I take my walk by the Bay, I like to smile or say hi to everyone I pass. I feel good when people cooperate. I sense a local lightening of the atmosphere, an infinitesimal exchange of positive energy. When people stare straight ahead or keep their …
The trip to London from which I’ve just returned was the first time I had visited that country since 1987, twenty years. I’d seen some of my English friends at international meetings or on visits to the U.S., but until this month, we hadn’t sat together for long, convivial chats, taking stock. I learned a …
Here’s kind of a fun thing. The theater writer and teacher Scott Walters has “tagged” me to take part in a “meme” originated by Laura Axelrod. This virally transmitted unit of cultural information comprises five questions and answers. Its irresistible quality comes from the pure pleasure of talking about oneself, so I predict it will …